How to Prevent Players from Self Sabatoging?

I feel like my players often self sabotage themselves. Often we’ll experience moments were the session will come to a complete pause as the player characters argue over what to do. At this point I’ve started to continue the events of the session as their player characters are arguing and this usually puts them in a bad way. For example their pcs start arguing loudly to one another in a forest full of enemies that can now locate them since they couldn’t be quiet. My players get along outside of game just fine they tell me they get frustrated too but their pcs view one another with grudges so they can’t just agree its ooc.

When I step in I’m ignored, and one of my players gets so fed up with it they leave their party to go off on their own.

This creates all sorts of conflicts because as DM I will now be creating two different paths that require me to go back and forth between groups. Which leads to lots of pauses as we switch back and forth.

I’ve tried campfire sessions. Sessions where they are forced to rely on one another. I’ve pitted them against a large common enemy and placed them in fun situations to try and build friendship.

I feel like im running out of options and ideas.

Being more assertive seems counterproductive but I get ignored if I am not. And the players don’t appreciate being thrown into events created to try to build their support with one another. They just freeze up and get quiet.

Anyone have some ideas or suggestions?