So I’ve been doing some thinking and essentially realized I’m a garbage DM. I am literally the embodiment of Railroading and unwillingness to listen to their wishes. I love my lore way too much and get major ideas of how I want things to go and struggle to give room.
Hard part is… they don’t really care that I do this. But what I mean is that maybe one of them is 100x better than me. In which case they should be doing it, not me! I mean I can see that there are definitely things they dislike about me. One guy in particular, I think, is spurred on a little by the Matt Mercer effect.
But I’m at a crossing, we are finishing a campaign I’m very disappointed in. The end became very clear and destined over time. They have started making their new characters and are getting excited to play my next story. But all I see is me failing them again. Do I take it into my hands and quit for their sake, or torture myself again as I realise I’ll never change and mess it up again?
Or am I just selfish by wanting to give up on them?