Is giving my character amnesia about it’s backstory a bad idea?

During my first campaign as a player I had a issue with my DM regarding the background I gave to my character. It was my first time creating a background for my character and I loved doing it, so much that my backstory became quite big. (I gave my DM a short summary to make his life easier).

While I loved creating a backstory, I wasn’t too comfortable with going all in with roleplaying. For this reason I added a piece in my backstory where my character was cursed, couldn’t remember where he was from and he was now wandering around looking for answers. I just wasn’t ready to dive straight into roleplaying this backstory and wanted to learn RP step by step.

A couple sessions after I handed over my backstory, my DM briefly mentioned his dislike towards my backstory. He did this in a single comment, away from all the other players which went along the line of “Who gives their player amensia, what kind of person does that?” At that time I didn’t know how to respond and not too long after that we stopped playing anyway, but the comment still makes me wonder if it really is a bad thing to do?

So, is giving your player amnesia about their backstory a bad thing to do to your DM? Or is it something just my DM had issue with?

How to deal with a DM changing my backstory and dismissing my ideas?


The buildup

I am playing a campaign with a few friends and we are all kinda new including the DM, though he does have a little more experience than the players. The other day the DM asked everyone for their character’s backstory, offering to help people come up with more details if they wanted to but otherwise leaving it up to the player.

The character I am playing is an anime trope I thought would be fun to play in a D&D game, everyone agreed it’d be fun and that these aren’t often played if ever. (according to our extensive research as internet duellers)

As I struggle to have time between work to properly write my character’s backstory and send it, the DM and I kept texting back and forth and he would offer up scenarios he thought would match my character, most of them, stuff I had already thought about and had decided were in my character’s backstory.
At this point I thought we were in the same page.

When I finally get a day off I type everything up. I believe my backstory is original because I haven’t seen it in any anime before. It was great, it made sense with the character, and it had the potential to be both simple or very emotional and heartstring pulling, depending on what the DM decided to do with it.

The problem

5 minutes after I sent the DM my backstory and he sends me a lengthy text telling me how he doesn’t like it and changing pretty much everything, ignoring half of it and letting me know how mediocre he thinks the parts he’s letting stay are. All with a tone of “I don’t like it because don’t think its original”

I don’t know if maybe I didn’t choose the right words to get the message across or if he just made my character’s backstory all on their own and planned to shut my idea down regardless, while still telling me I got to do it myself.
I don’t like this version of my backstory, it changes a lot of my characters core beliefs and I won’t know how to play them anymore.

I don’t know what to do as both of us are creative minds and are attached to our ideas. I don’t want the DM to give me a backstory I don’t like, but the with character like this, I won’t have fun. I also don’t necessarily wanna tell him how to do his job.

My question

What should I do?

How to work around players whose backstory goes against the story?

I’ve been playing Pathfinder with friends for about a year and a half now, and I tell other friends that haven’t played dnd how much I enjoy it. I piqued their interest in the game and offered to DM for them.

I have two new players that are engaging in my NPCs and combat very well! However, I have a player who’s playing a Cleric, and tells me that killing people is against his religion, which I understand but, he has spells do damage to people and he requested a weapon.

I prompted to my players an organization that will help them get around my homebrew world easier and allow them to easily get quests, like bounty hunting, dungeoneering, city protection, etc. It would also allow me to easily generate story, but my players just aren’t interested. The cleric isn’t interested because he fears the organization’s bounty hunting will go against his character’s religion. I’m afraid that my player’s religious background is going to affect future ideas of mine, and I’m not sure how to work around it.

Recommended Backstory Length [on hold]

Personally, I prefer to keep the backstory of my characters short and mildly generic to allow actions in past adventures to be a major impact on my characters actions (eg. during one campaign my character became an alcoholic trying to impress onlookers, and as a result chose to carry alcohol over other loot). This works quite well, however other members of my party have started making very detailed backstories interwoven with each other. So the question is:

How much detail should I put into my characters backstory as to not be annoying to other players?

What issues will arise from a player’s weird request for a backstory?

So we are starting a new campaign and one of my players has a unique backstory.

His character had a twin sister who died at the age of 10. Before her death, a wizard found them both and bound the sister’s soul into a pendant. Now his character and sister switch souls at midnight. Also, he wants to be able to Astral Project(at will) whichever soul is in the pendant.

A little background on our campaign: the characters are level 7, the sister is a druid, and the brother is a warlock.

I see the following issues with this setup:

  1. The sister was 10 at her death and not really a druid yet
  2. If they would switch souls, the warlock would lose all of his abilities since his sister isn’t the one who made the pact
  3. I am not a fan of them being able to astral project.

Are these the only issues with this setup? What other issues are likely to arise from this?

How is the contradiction in this NPC’s backstory in Curse of Strahd resolved?

This question includes NPC lore spoilers for Curse of Strahd, proceed at your own risk.

While running Curse of Strahd and prepping ahead, I have happened upon a rather glaring contradiction in the backstories of two of the important NPCs. I’m wondering if anything has been said by the developers regarding this…

This contradiction centers around

In the former’s backstory, we have this little snippet regarding their first encounter with the latter.

However, in Appendix F (Handouts) we have the…

In which we find this entirely contradicting statement…

After this, it goes on to explain

I know that if you go back to the AD&D2E Ravenloft books, the story from the Handout is how things actually went down, and the character who is the subject of the first story is a new character that was invented for the 5E Module.

Has anything been said about this backstory contradiction? It’s kind of a big deal if these two characters turn out to be important to the plot (which they will in the game I’m running).

If the first story is true then…

If the second story is true then…

How do I politely tell my players to shut up about their backstory?

Disclaimer: I know backstories are good and necessary but here’s the issue –

Two players have a joint backstory, and one of them is REALLY into it, and it’s starting to disrupt game time because he keeps bringing it up. He’ll pair off with his “partner” and do stuff just so they can start talking about their shared backstory to impress the other player – like ask him backstory questions he already knows the answer to, just so it gets brought up in front of the party… but there’s no way they should expect 4 other players + a DM to listen to this for ten straight minutes (They split off from the party, so I have 4 PCs literally waiting to play).

I want their backstories to be the reason that NEW stuff happens, not the reason new stuff isn’t happening.

Last session, the guy starts getting snippy at other players for not listening to him role play drinking a cup of tea while we’re packing up cuz the session is over… I don’t know how to politely tell him that nobody cares if his eyes turn a different color when he drinks tea. I just don’t know how to politely get the game to move on without making him feel like I’m ignoring his backstory entirely, but the truth is nobody cares but it, and he’s doing nothing to include the other players in his backstory.

TL;DR – Basically, he wants to write a book and have people read it at play sessions (but he’s not a great writer).

Character backstory

I’m fairly new to D&D and I’ve got my character set up but I’m having a little trouble with my backstory. My character is a dragonborn sorcerer with a Hermit background whose Sorcerous origin is Shadow Magic…

So my character was the caretaker of an ancient relic (maybe Shadowfell-related), forbidden from any contact with the relic. One faithful day, after many years in isolation, curiosity got the best of my character and they decided to take a closer look. As they touch the relic they are given an apocalyptic vision and are changed by the relic. Armed with the knowledge of this vision, they are determined to stop it from happening by any means necessary.

So I need help with what type of relic could possibly do that.