In this joke, what should the Dwarf have said?

Link to joke

Context: the party is traversing a mountain pass in a blizzard a la Lord of the Rings scene. DM has everyone roll the dice to see if they don’t fall down the cliff, and dwarf warrior in heavy plate armor fails the check.

DM: Heavy gust of wind pushed you off the path. You slip and fall off the cliff. What do you do?

Dwarf: I flap my arms really really hard.

DM: Seriously?

Dwarf: it’s not like I got better options.

DM: ok, roll the dice.

Dwarf rolls natural 20.

DM: …

Party: …

DM: roll again.

Dwarf rolls another 20.

DM: …!

Party: …?!

DM: …sigh. With astonished look on their faces, the party behold a most miraculous sight. A dwarf in heavy armor is slowly rising up in the air above the cliff edge by flapping his arms really really fucking hard.

I laughed really really fucking hard when I first saw the joke 😀

But more seriously: what did the DM expect the Dwarf to do? It seems to me that the Dwarf simply doesn’t have any options (the player said as much), but in that case, why didn’t the DM just say "you fall to your death"? Alternatively, given that the DM has already asked "what do you do", what should the Dwarf have said/done? I imagine the player can’t just say "I fall to my death".

I’m trying to understand the interaction between players and the DM in these perilous situations. Either person might not see a way out for the player, but the other might. What should one do then?

Is there a dwarf god for the Light domain?

Is there a dwarven deity for whom the Light domain would be applicable? Obviously, with GM buy-in you can take any domain for any deity, but I’d prefer to create a thematically consistent character. I’ve been looking around, but the dwarves don’t appear to have a sun god, or a fire god, or any of the usual suspects for Light domain clerics.

The setting is Forgotten Realms, and the game is D&D 5e. Since the only dwarven deity in a 5e book is Moradin, I’m open to anything from an earlier edition. Just including 5e on the question to avoid any gods who have been killed or otherwise removed from canon.

Also worth noting that while I’m open to answers like ‘Moradin works for the Light domain because such-and-such’, it’s easy to see that Lathander (or, preferably, the dwarf version of him) is far more thematically appropriate.

Are Norse Dwarf Chaos cults plausible?

I’ve decided to run a little campaign for a four player group and they together came up with a glorious idea that certainly produced a solid laugh. They ALL want to play as Norse Dwarves, each belonging to a different Chaos God cult. While Chaos-devoted Dwarves are nothing new (Dawi Zharr), they have a rich history of Chaos devotion. While Norsca itself is a pretty Chaos-susceptible place and this is why I’m even giving thought to the idea… How realistic would it be that the short, sturdy creatures fond of drink and industry turn to any of the four Chaos Gods?

It strikes me as rather outlandish that a magic-resistant Dwarf would turn to Tzeentch, for example. Khorne I could probably see, Khorne worshippers being common to Norsca; Nurgle is once again somewhat doubtful; for Slaanesh there’s the clear possibility of macabre artistry becoming common among the craftsdwarves of the guilds.

It sounds like a very great campaign idea, but I wanted to make sure it would be possible canonically around 2000 IC.

mechanics of attack and roll damage for hill dwarf figther lvl1 [duplicate]

STR 13 +1
DEX 14 +2
CON 17 +4
INT 15 +2
WIS 12 +1
CHAR 17 +3

so I attack with one hand Battleaxe 1d8 with dueling fighting style:

  1. Attack rolld20 – 16+1 from strength +2 from proficiency with Battleaxe total 19
  2. Now roll for damage – 1d8 + 2 damage from dueling style = rolled 3+2 (dueling)

Is this correct? And on the attack roll do I need to add +1 damage from strength ability score modifier?

As a DM I gave our dwarf cleric a bear cub as a companion, what can I do?

So I’m with 2 PCs, playing D&D essentials kit. Most of the time we follow the plot, add some extra things there and here and of course doing some improve. I try to stick to some of the rules but not always, to make it more fun.

The PCs recently encountered a big brown bear and killed it. A bear cub appeared and they managed to persuade the cub to go with them and they have it now. I applied wolf stats to it (didn’t give them the card yet, should I?). So now I’m thinking what this bear could do. I do not want to mobilize it as a fighting companion but make it more passive in battles and just help them with it’s perception and some other goodies.

I was thinking:

  1. Make the bear cub not grow with time, but rather give them an item to make the bear stronger in terms of constitution.

  2. It mostly follows them and will not run away on it’s own unless it’s in life threatening danger.

Edit: Question: Do my two points make sense and what stats should I include any other mechanics that would work with this relationship between dwarf and bear? Should I allow mounting of the bear once it grows?

edit2: what stats and info can i reveal to my PC?

If a dwarf barbarian wears heavy armor how fast do they move?

Quoted from d20:

Base Speed: (Slow and Steady) Dwarves have a base speed of 20 feet, but their speed is never modified by armor or encumbrance.


A barbarian’s land speed is faster than the norm for her race by +10 feet. This benefit applies only when he is wearing no armor, light armor, or medium armor, and not carrying a heavy load. Apply this bonus before modifying the barbarian’s speed because of any load carried or armor worn. This bonus stacks with any other bonuses to the barbarian’s land speed.

So a dwarf can never be slowed by any kind of armor, but barbarians lose the +10 feet of movement when wearing heavy armor.

Which takes priority over the other?