Is there any way to gain the endless special quality without carrying around a small necromantic magic item?

Dragon Magazine #354 has a fairly well-known special quality called endless, which prevents aging and all its normal effects, but is unfortunately not actually granted by its associated feat, Wedded to History. Within the pages of this magazine, the only way to gain the quality (DM fiat aside) is to have someone cast kissed by the ages on you, and then to forevermore give up a magical item body slot and risk taking a penalty if you ever lose the item–which also radiates enough necromancy to make many NPCs very uneasy.

But what about methods outside the pages of the magazine? Is there any sort of feat, feature, or other special means by which someone can gain this extraordinary special quality, without needing to go around holding a pseudo-phylactery?

How can I track down an issue with a locked table, endless query?

I have a table that is periodically getting locked in a manner that I don’t quite understand. I cannot do the following:

select * from thetable select count(*) from thetable 

There are roughly 2,000 records.

I can do the following:

select top 2000 * from thetable select * from thetable where ID = etc. 

Going backwards to find a new record that perhaps was problematic, incrementing the count in chunks until I can finally reproduce it again:

select top 1500 * from thetable order by ID desc select top 1550.... etc. and eventually it gets locked and never finishes the query. 

Query never finishes… have waited 10 minutes. Only resolution is to restart the service.

The related stored procedure that I thought caused the problem I ran manually (it interacts with this table) and the longest time it took was roughly 45 seconds. This particular procedure goes through many phases and is wrapped in a transaction with a try/catch/rollback/commit. There is no explicit locking set on the procedure.

Any direction or guidance to track down the root issue is greatly appreciated.

Can I use a Decanter of Endless Water to harm a Vampire?

The Decanter of Endless Water, DMG pg. 161, can fire a 30 foot long, 1 foot wide stream of water that can knock a target prone. On top of that, it keeps streaming until the end of my next turn (important).

A Vampire, MM pg. 297, takes 20 acid damage if it ends its turn in running water.

If I somehow manage to get this going on a vampire that we’ve prevented from moving, would this count as running water?

Can a Tundra Storm Herald Barbarian pre-emptively freeze the water of a Decanter of Endless Water?

Disclaimer : This question pertains to realizing a non-mechanical, very specific thing for goofy purposes. You may take it with a grain of salt.

A Tundra Storm Herald Barbarian (subclass from Xanathar’s Guide to Everything) gets the following Storm Soul secondary feature at 6th level :

Moreover, as an action, you can touch water and turn a 5-foot cube of it into ice, which melts after 1 minute. This action fails if a creature is in the cube.

Let’s assume that the secondary feature lets you make a smaller cube than 5 foot (if you have access to less water than that).

A Decanter of Endless Water is an uncommon Wondrous item magic item that lets you shoot water from it :

This stoppered flask sloshes when shaken, as if it contains water. The decanter weighs 2 pounds. You can use an action to remove the stopper and speak one of three command words, whereupon an amount of fresh water or salt water (your choice) pours out of the flask. The water stops pouring out at the start of your next turn. (goes on to list the three options)

The goal here is for the Tundra Barbarian to “shoot ice” instead of water (no added mechanical effect). To that effect, can a Tundra Barbarian pre-emptively freeze the water contained inside a Decanter of Endless Water (in order to shoot ice upon activating the Decanter) ? (for example, by removing the stopper without saying a command word, and reaching his hand inside the device to freeze water, which may or may not be possible)

How do you select a large number of rows in Google Sheets without endless scrolling downward after selecting the first row?

In a spreadsheet of 40,000 rows, I want to select the first 2,500 rows to copy them to another sheet. The only way I’ve seen is to select the first row and tediously scroll the “dot” down to include all 2,500 rows. On a computer, this would be a breeze with the Shift key. How to accomplish something similar in Android Sheets? The keyboard doesn’t open unless I’m editing a cell, so any keyboard-based solution seems to be a non-starter. Thanks.

Find the top N numbers in an endless stream of integers in a functional programming style

I came across this interesting Scala problem and not sure how to solve it:

class TopN {   def findTopN(n: Int)(stream: Stream[Int]): List[Int] = {    ???   } }  

This is a test of abstract data engineering skills.

The function findTopN(…) in TopN is supposed to find the top N highest unique integers in a presumed endless stream of integers. To process the Stream of Int, you can only hold a few values in memory at a given time. Therefore, a memory efficient way to process this list is required.

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My players grow Weary of the endless Endgame

My Life With Master’s Endgame (MLWM 37-40) consists of opposed rolls between minion(s) and Master:

minion (LOVE minus WEARINESS) vs.
Master (FEAR plus SELF-LOATHING)

If the minion succeeds, the Endgame concludes and moves to the Epilogue, but if the minion fails he gains a point of Weariness. This seems problematic, as the manual admits “how protracted [the Endgame] could become if the Weariness of the minion grappling with the Master were to continue to grow” (MLWM 40).

The one time I’ve run MLWM, this protracted Endgame did indeed become a major issue, creating a set of scenes both boring and futile as the minions’ increasing Weariness made it increasingly likely that they’d continue to fail and get ever more Weary. The Master can’t win, but the minions can quickly reach the point where they’re getting repeatedly captured by Townspeople or Outsiders because their Weariness has exceeded Reason (MLWM 35). My players literally revolted after an hour of this, and the game was abandoned.

I was certain we’d read the rules wrong, but I can’t find anything I missed. So I looked at reviews and Actual Play records of the game, and found no reference to frustratingly endless Endgames there either. What gives? Is this a tactical error, a misreading of the manual, an intended feature, or a flaw in the system?

Are endless Endgames a mistake on my part? If not, how have you addressed endless Endgames in your play?