In this joke, what should the Dwarf have said?

Link to joke

Context: the party is traversing a mountain pass in a blizzard a la Lord of the Rings scene. DM has everyone roll the dice to see if they don’t fall down the cliff, and dwarf warrior in heavy plate armor fails the check.

DM: Heavy gust of wind pushed you off the path. You slip and fall off the cliff. What do you do?

Dwarf: I flap my arms really really hard.

DM: Seriously?

Dwarf: it’s not like I got better options.

DM: ok, roll the dice.

Dwarf rolls natural 20.

DM: …

Party: …

DM: roll again.

Dwarf rolls another 20.

DM: …!

Party: …?!

DM: …sigh. With astonished look on their faces, the party behold a most miraculous sight. A dwarf in heavy armor is slowly rising up in the air above the cliff edge by flapping his arms really really fucking hard.

I laughed really really fucking hard when I first saw the joke 😀

But more seriously: what did the DM expect the Dwarf to do? It seems to me that the Dwarf simply doesn’t have any options (the player said as much), but in that case, why didn’t the DM just say "you fall to your death"? Alternatively, given that the DM has already asked "what do you do", what should the Dwarf have said/done? I imagine the player can’t just say "I fall to my death".

I’m trying to understand the interaction between players and the DM in these perilous situations. Either person might not see a way out for the player, but the other might. What should one do then?

Column in query should be selected according to value from another column

Assuming I have table1 with following data:


id| coffee_sender | coffee_receiver | received_bag_size | sent_bag_size| price | 21  tux              -1                  m                 -1            45  22  alsa            -1                  -1                 xl            36 23  -1               tux                 l                 -1            51 

And I use the following query:

select t1.* from ( select t.price, from table1 t  where coffee_sender in (tux, alsa)  or coffee_receiver in (tux, alsa) and received_bag_size in (m, xl) or sent_bag_size in (m, xl)) t1 

What i want is to only fetch the rows that have coffee_sender/coffee_receiver AND sent_bag_size/received_bag_size filled with a value (rows that match the following conditions):

coffee_sender = tux, sent_bag_size= xl 


coffee_receiver = tux, received_bag_size= m 


coffee_sender = tux, sent_bag_size = xl AND coffee_receiver = tux, received_bag_size= m 

So id = 21 would be excluded from the example table1.

How can i update the above query for this ? Thank you in advance.

What should the schema look like for an API-based SaaS product?

I’m building a developer tool product, which will be accessible solely by APIs. Following are a few features I’ve identified that will be needed:

  1. Issuing/refreshing API keys
  2. Purchasing API credits
  3. Subscriptions for API credits
  4. Monitoring usage of API for each user
  5. Deducting an API credit for each call

What all considerations should I take into account when designing a schema for this? Are there any open examples of schemas for such a product? Is there a term for this?

Note that this would be quite similar to what something like Stripe or any API-based SaaS is doing.

Thousands of visits from Huawei ASN, Singapore. Should I worry about them?

I’ve got a website with information I do not want to be replicated.

I’m browsing my visits, and found thousands of visits per day from AS136907, an ASN of Huawei, Singapore. Always with similar IP addresses.

I do not know if such visitors are human real ones, or they are bots crawling my site with hidden intentions.

Any similar experience is welcome.

Should players see maps of locations they are in?

I am currently DM’ing Storm King’s Thunder. The book contains many maps, and each of them has a DM version and a player version. I am wondering if other DMs/GMs show their players these maps. For example, an overhead map of a town. I am split on this. On the one hand, I know my players would like to see it, and it would probably help them in many ways. But on the other, I am thinking that the player’s characters would not have an overhead map of the town. So, to me, it makes sense to not give the map to the players. Any thoughts on this?

How should i balance my monsters

I have created a few new classes and races for my game they all have the strengths and weaknesses but are still very powerfull.What is the best way to balance monsters or if I should simply put in more powerful creatures.My players are currently playing my campaign were they are traveling to the astral plane to kill an empyrean as a favor for having a devil save them in battle.I don’t want to keep throwing out powerful creatures but don’t want them obliterating all the weaker ones so how should I balance these monsters either give me tip on the best way to balance monsters or send me custom rules and monsters that can be fought at a medium difficulty.This game is in 5e

Should I warn the GM of probable mistakes he made or could make?

The question isn’t strictly bound to rules – although sometimes there are mistakes about those too, the GM is kind of a novice – but is mostly related to reading some statblocks in the book. To better explain, we are playing a specific AP in which the party encounters a vampire wizard. In the book, a fight is contemplated and so there are stats for such enemy. It should have been a nightmare (a CR 14 against a lvl 6 party), but a very good build on my part plus some unlucky rolls on the vampire side (bless burst of radiance btw) allowed the party to win, although with serious wounds. But from previous experiences, I remembered:

1 – APs usually don’t put enemies of that caliber at that level

2 – if APs do contain such enemies, they put them in some obscure location after some obscure conditions (think of a "secret boss" or a "you effed up boss")

So in my curiosity I looked at the stats of the enemy (I know, it’s meta, but I didn’t read anything other than dead enemies’ statblocks, so it shouldn’t be that bad) and found out the GM used the stats for the same enemy but in a different AP (seems the vampire would have returned with more levels and abilities).

So that’s that, the party won thanks to an EXTREME dose of luck, because we were supposed to encounter a CR 10 (maybe 11, if an adjustment for extra players was needed) instead of a CR 14, but I understand this stat-swapping accident may happen again and we may not be that lucky next time. Now if my character dies it’s no problem, but I don’t know how the rest of the party might react in that case. Should I warn the GM or not?

I have extra gold from the alternate way of getting starting equipment. What should I do with the extra money? [closed]

I was using the alternate way to get equipment in Chapter 5 of the PHB (D&D 5e) as a Fighter and rolled 160 GP, which I spent on Studded Leather Armor, a Longsword, the Explorer’s Pack, a Crossbow Bolt Case, a Light Crossbow, 20 Crossbow Bolts, and a Dagger, and still have 61 GP to spend on equipment. I have no idea what to do with the extra money as I’ve bought all the equipment I want. I don’t think the PHB addressed this and don’t know what the rules say. What is do the rules say on this?

Should I write custom allocators for STL containers to interface with my memory pool, or just overwrite the standard new and delete

I want to write a custom memory allocator for learning. I’m tempted to have a master allocator that requests n bytes of ram from the heap (via new). This would be followed by several allocator… Adaptors? Each would interface with the master, requesting a block of memory to manage, these would be stack, linear, pool, slab allocators etc.

The problem I have is whether I should write custom allocator_traits to interface with these for the various STL containers; or if I should just ignore the adaptor idea and simply overload new and delete to use a custom pool allocator.

What I’m interested in understanding is what tangible benefit I would gain from having separate allocators for STL containers? It seems like the default std::allocator calls new and delete as needed so if I overload those to instead request from my big custom memory pool, I’d get all the benefit without the kruft of custom std::allocator code.

Or is this a matter where certain types of allocator models, like using a stack allocator for a std::dqueue would work better than the default allocator? And if so, wouldn’t the normal stl implementation already specialise?