Does the Spiritual Weapon spell take a bonus action or an action to use?

I am a 5th level cleric in D&D and I am a little unsure about how to use spiritual weapon, which is cast with a bonus action.

The spell says that you create a weapon and then you can attack. It then says that “on your turn” as a bonus action you can move the weapon and hit another person, but spiritual weapon itself is already a bonus action.

Does this mean that you get a bonus action on a bonus action, or does the first bonus action become an action?

What’s the best weapon for disarming?

Just like the title says. I’m working on a funny build based on disarming (typically suboptimal, yes, but this one’ll be hilarious). What’s the best weapon for this character?

I assume it’ll be a two-handed one, for the +4 bonus. Looking at the SRD, the heavy flail and the ranseur both give an extra +2 bonus, but the heavy flail has just slightly better damage and criticals, so that’s what I’m going with for now.

Is there anything better out there?

What happens to a troll that is perfectly vertically bisected by a normal weapon?

The title pretty much covers it. For reference, see http://www.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/troll.htm and http://www.d20srd.org/srd/specialAbilities.htm#regeneration

There is, of course, no definitive answer in the rulebooks on this. However if you know of some relevant ruling by the game developers that has been published, that would be useful. I’m also interested to hear your personal interpretations.

If your target has an enemy within 5ft, can you sneak attack without using a finesse or ranged weapon?

A rogue and fighter are engaged in melee combat with a goblin. The rogue is unarmed. Can the rogue activate Sneak Attack?

The rules for Sneak Attack state:

Beginning at 1st level, you know how to strike subtly and exploit a foe’s distraction. Once per turn, you can deal an extra 1d6 damage to one creature you hit with an attack if you have advantage on the attack roll. The attack must use a finesse or a ranged weapon.

You don’t need advantage on the attack roll if another enemy of the target is within 5 feet of it, that enemy isn’t incapacitated, and you don’t have disadvantage on the attack roll.

The question arises from the difficulty in parsing the bolded sentence. I have heard 2 interpretations:

  1. You can sneak attack if (you have advantage and the attack is made using a finesse or ranged weapon) or (an enemy of the target is within 5ft, etc).
  2. You can sneak attack if ((you have advantage) or (an enemy of the target is within 5ft, etc)) and the attack is made using a finesse or ranged weapon.

The first interpretation hinges on the idea that when the second paragraph says "on the attack roll" it is still talking about the same "attack" as in the first paragraph. The second interpretation hinges on the idea that the first interpretation is bizarre and unnatural – if that was the intent, there are many ways that it could have been worded to be clearer.

Thematically, I am leaning towards the first – not having a finesse or ranged weapon shouldn’t stop the rogue from exploiting a distracted foe.

Considering RAW only (no twitter please), how should this feature be interpreted?

What entity might inhabit the weapon of a Tiefling Hexblade with Levistus bloodline?

I’m planning to play a Tiefling Hexblade with Levistus bloodline. The weapon of this Hexblade should be inhabited by an entity that was sent by Levistus. What entity could that be? Demons don’t work together with Devils, so that’s not an option. Another devil? Is it possible for a lower devil to inhabit objects? A ghost like entity seems wrong, too.

How can I design a magical weapon that grants an advantage against fire-base creatures without using water and choking effects?

The party I am DM’ing is going for an adventure to the Elemental Plane of Fire. I want to design a magical weapon that can grant an advantage against fire-based creatures. I see that Fire Elementals have Water Susceptibility (Cold Damage) but I have already house-ruled that elemental planes can not include magical effects of elements from other elemental planes, but just the spells that have elements of the current plane can be cast (as the plane purely consists of element of itself). For example, in the Elemental Plane of Air, not only Earth-based spells but all the spells are impeded, except air-based ones.

After I realized that I can’t use a magical weapon that has cold damage due to my house-rule, I wanted to give the weapon a "heavy smoke" effect to choke the fire, as I thought that fire can not live without oxygen. But this option conflicts with my house-rule, also I saw that the fire-based creatures any other fire source in the Elemental Plane of Fire don’t need air to live.

Now I have no idea how can I design a magical weapon that gives an advantage against fire-based creatures without cold damage and choking the fire via leaving without oxygen is not an option. I can not cancel my house-ruling because of the sake of my setting. I am open to any house ruling ideas beside the official ruling.

TLDR: as in title, how can I design a magical weapon that grants an advantage against fire-base creatures without using water and choking effects?

If the question shows up to be opinion-based, please accept my apologies.

How do I model the fighter’s Great Weapon Fighting fighting style in Anydice?

I was trying to create an AnyDice function to model the Great Weapon Fighting fighting style (which lets you reroll 1s and 2s), but I couldn’t get it to work on any arbitrary dice.

I’ve found this one:

function: reroll R:n under N:n {    if R < N { result: d12 } else {result: R} } output [reroll 1d12 under 3] named "greataxe weapon fighting" 

And it works fine. But I don’t know how to make the function generic so i don’t need to change the d12 every time i want a different dice to reroll.

I’ve tried

function: reroll R:n under N:n {    if R < N { result: d{1..R} } else {result: R} } output [reroll 1d12 under 3] named "greataxe weapon fighting" 

but it is not giving the right probabilities. Maybe if I could fetch the die size inside the function…

Would the Haste Spell allow you to cast a second, singular weapon attack effecting cantrip (such as Greenflame Blade)?

So the Haste spell in 5e says that the targeted creature

gains an additional action on each of its turns. That action can be used only to take the Attack (one weapon attack only), Dash, Disengage, Hide, or Use an Object action.

This means I technically have a second action, so would that allow me to use the Greenflame Blade cantrip a second time in the same turn (once with the actual action, once with this action) as the cantrip applies to one weapon attack in a similar fashion as a Paladin with Haste could apply Divine Smite onto the Haste-given attack?